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Hate to say it, but we’re a few weeks away from the end of summer.
You know what that means. Soon, we’ll be rolling in leaves, watching (some) fall sports, sipping on PSLs and pulling out our sweaters. However, those seasonal joys also come along with shorter days and gloomier weather — and that’s enough to put many of us in a funk.
“I love him, but I’m not IN love with him anymore. What can I do?”
Shaunda, like so many other couples in my online immersion program, feels guilty, frustrated, and alone. So, the first thing I do is reassure her that she is in very good company. So many couples report marital boredom. They wish they could feel more excitement, more attraction, more fun.
Just like a vegetable garden, love that isn’t nurtured doesn’t thrive.
So often, the challenges of being honest and transparent find their way to your therapist’s office. Many couples and individuals do not disclose important aspects of themselves or the relationship out of fear and discomfort. Of course, the comfort level with the therapist is a priority. Therapists must work on building rapport and creating a safe space for their clients to open up. However, even then, some individuals struggle to be honest with themselves and/or others. This is also understandable from the trauma-informed perspective and should not be shamed. Rather, it should be explored, and telling your therapist about your struggles is the first step
The fear of missing out (FOMO) is a seemingly innocent acronym. We use it casually in day-to-day conversation, “Oh, if I don’t go to that dinner, I will have real FOMO,” or "I need to buy that dress, or I will get FOMO.” Behind the acronym hides a darker reality. FOMO causes people significant distress, as people forget to inhabit their lives and instead live their lives through the filters of what other people are doing.
In Recovery – What Now?
Addiction has impacted your relationship. While thankfully the addiction is being addressed through some sort of recovery approach, now you are sorting through what all this has meant. Most importantly you are trying to stay on track with your own recovery and wellness because you realize you have to. For too long you feel like you have lost yourself in what seemed like the endless series of bad consequences in the aftermath of each episode of the addiction.
No matter how happy you are or how long you’ve been together, some conflict in your relationship is inevitable. But many people over my counseling career either didn’t see their parents working through problems or were exposed to verbal or physical abuse and thus learned to fear conflict. Sadly avoiding hard conversations leaves things unresolved and creates disconnection and dissatisfaction in the relationship.
Laurie* was upset—sad, angry, frustrated, and hurt. Her boss had praised a colleague and ignored her, even though they had both been equal members of the team that had done the project. “I get why I’m upset,” she said, “but usually I roll with these things. Next time I’ll get the credit. But I just keep revisiting it in my head, and it’s making it hard for me to get my other work done.”
I am often asked, “What is the difference between stress and anxiety?” Symptoms can look very similar between the two, but there are several distinctions. Stress is a common experience that occurs when the tasks at hand are perceived to be more than we can handle. Anxiety is more intense and occurs when stress is not acknowledged or appropriately managed.